Several years ago, I had a friend that was a sociology professor at Houston Community College. Occasionally, he’d ask me to cover for him when he needed to miss a class. Usually he’d have me take attendance and show a video but one day I asked him if I could try something different.
At the time, I was on the board of an organization that wanted to promote the Houston music scene. I thought it would be fun to spend the hour talking about music and polling the class on their favorite local bands, venues and types of music they liked. I assumed, being college kids, they’d be all over this but I was shocked at their reaction.
They were clearly bored. You would have thought I was quizzing them on quantum physics. With one or two exceptions, they seemed to not give a damn about music and resented having to answer questions about it. It was probably the worst response I’ve ever gotten from an audience. I concluded that this generation of kids just didn’t care about music as much as my generation did.
Would you agree?
Later, I relayed the story to my friend, Bob Wall, a guidance counselor at another college. I shared my theory about this generation versus my classmates when I was that age and he blew me right out of the water.
Bob said, “You’re wrong. Overall, the kids you went to school with didn’t care any more about music than these kids.” I thought he’d flipped his lid. “How do you figure that?, ” I asked.
“How many kids were in the class, about 30?,” Bob asked. When I nodded, he asked, Were any the kids interested in what you had to say?”
I said, “Yeah, maybe one or two.”
“Then that’s just about right. When you were in high school, most of the kids listened to music and many went to concerts but there was a small percentage of kids that was really into music. The kind with big record collections, that knew all the details about the bands and that were really passionate about music. And that’s who you surrounded yourself with. After graduation, you worked in music stores and in clubs where you hung out with nothing but hardcore music types. When you weren’t working, you spent all your time in rock clubs.”
“It may have seemed like a lot of people were in the local scene but what were the actual numbers? A few hundred? A few thousand? Even if it were ten thousand, which I doubt, that’s a tiny fraction of the population in that age group. So is it really that much of a surprise that you only found one or two kids that cared a lot about music in that class?”
I realized he was right. And what a paradigm shift that was. It really got me thinking.
While it’s great to be surrounded by people that share our beliefs and passions, it can also limit our worldview. It can effect the way we interact with our prospects and customers, too.
How Could I Have Handled This in a Better Way?
What could I have done differently that day in class?
First, I could have asked my professor friend to tell me a little more about his students. I could have explained more about what I planned to do and gotten his opinion on the class’s interest in music. I also could have chatted with some students before class began to get a feel for their interests. And finally, I could have made adjustments to my talk rather than continued to push my own topic. I could have been more curious and asked those uninterested in music, what they were passionate about.
Have you ever had a similar experience?
Think about this. When you network, do you tend to hang out with the same small circle of people or do you sometimes explore a completely different tribe?
When seeking information, do you tend to stick to the same resources?
Are you really aware of your audience’s wants and needs are or are you just assuming they all dance to the same tune?
Let me know your answers. Please leave a comment below.
This totally resonates. When I was auditioning my replacement (when I left teaching ballet) this one instructor had prepared a class for my students that was WAY above their level. It was quickly obvious to all observing, and to her for that matter, but she continued to teach the class she had prepared.
To me, this was a HUGE red flag. Personally, I would have immediately scrapped what I was doing and figured out something easier, that they could do. Granted she was fresh out of college, with much to learn.
When you do not speak to your audience, you are making it about YOU. It’s like talking to hear yourself talk. Woohoo… who cares? I’m not interested in hearing myself talk… I’m interested in making a difference. That means I have to LISTEN and ENGAGE with my audience where they are at.
I might not be showing off all my fancy skills and knowledge, but then again, it’s not about ME is it? 🙂
Great story, Kate! Listen, engage and adapt. And you’re right, of course, it’s never about us.
Bill, great point about limiting one’s worldview. I have been guilty of this on more than one occasion and it is a hard habit to break! One way I try not to be so assuming is to remind myself everyone has lived a different life with different experiences than me. When we can come from a place where our audience is the center (and not our mind), we can truly make an impact.
Very true, Rachel.
Public speaking has really helped drive that point home for me. We can study conversion rates and other analytics but there’s nothing like the immediacy of reading the all those faces staring back at you from the crowd to let you know whether or not you’re connecting.
Thanks for the comment!
I used to teach acting and had some very committed students. One week I decided I needed more students, so I “gave a class away”, advertising it in the local acting papers. I got, perhaps, 10 people who took me up on the offer. Of them, all 10 left at the half-way break of the class. I was really puzzled. I’d been teaching the same class I always taught. Which, of course, was the problem. I hadn’t found out where each of them were in their studies, etc. Which is odd, since I always interviewed all new students with just those questions, but for this “free special class” I just jumped in cold. Kind of stuck with me.
Wow, Geoff, I didn’t know you taught acting. You’ve provided another great example and, I can see why that one would stick with you. Tough when you lose a room like that.
I’m still stuck on how you got bored students to put on those masks. 🙂
I believe you can engage any live audience. Wish I could say how to do it, but I can feel it when it happens.
Once did a gig with 325 people in Singapore who looked like robots. The other speakers said “no, that’s just how they listen” and I wouldn’t buy it. I got them to repeat things I said, and when they mumbled, I stopped and did it over a few times till I though I had them in the palm of my hand.
At the end, many thanked me. then they sat down, went back to their sullen looks, and bought 20x as much from the next speaker.
I’d guess that your class experience had little to do with your delivery or music in general. Likely they “knew” what they were supposed to do “Put up with the sub” and you had a market/message mismatch.
Then again. I don’t know what kids today are thinking 🙂
They aren’t masks, Warren. They’re Maintain Anonymity Socially Concealers. Or MASCs. Okay, sorrry. Best I can do this early in the morning.
Great story about Singapore. The lesson with the kids was a good one but the big eye opener was recognizing the mistake I made in thinking the scene I immersed myself in my early adulthood years was representative of the general population.
Wow! Incredible sociology lesson right there – for you at least. Did you share what happened with your friend the professor? I hope you did. While you may have bored them by talking about music, the gem in the experience would be for them to process their feelings as a “group” about the assumptions you made (i.e. because they were college students they would be totally into the music scene).
That can be carried over into so many other scenarios. What do we assume about our audience? Many say to talk/write as if you are talking to one person, even in a group. I guess that only works if the “person” you have in mind is a true representative of that group. How can we find that out?
Thanks Karen! I’d love a crack at that situation again. This happened nearly twenty years ago. I’ve got so much more experience connecting with an audience now. Then again, that sociology lesson, is part of that experience.
As far as communicating with an audience as if you were speaking to a person, there’s definitely a time when that’s what you want to do. We were taught that in radio, too. Never speak as if you’re addressing a crowd. On the other hand, if you’re interacting with the group, it’s a different story.
To answer your question about how do you know, I think it’s by asking questions in advance or asking questions right up front. I do that fairly often now.